Surgery

Hello, Yep it's 1 am and I am up writing on my blog should be in bed have a lot of things to do tomorrow one of them is getting a much deserve massage. I want to get it done before surgery it seems to help I've been told. I also have a few phone calls to make in the morning then get ready for school tomorrow. It's going to be a long day if I don't get back to sleep. I am not sure why I woke up, but just wanted to write my mother an email and get on my blog. Yeah I am a little nervous about my up coming surgery on Wednesday. I just want it to be over with so I can get on with my life put the cancer behind me and move on. I think that is the better way to do it just move on and not look back on the cancer. I have notice I've been talking about it with my classmates so that is fine, but don't want to talk about it too much let's move on and get life back sounds good to me. My heart is heavy though found out two friends have cancer and it hurts to hear this news. I will pray for their well being and I do feel for them in what they are going to go through, but I lift up good thoughts for them and wish them a speedy recovery. You can beat this!!! I love you very much!! Well my weight has gone out the window I just can't keep it together with all that is going on with me, surgery, school and home life just going, going, going and what do I do find comfort in foods. I know deep down I have to lose this weight, but once something stressful comes along I am at it again feed me! I have to get back in the mind set. I so much want to finish what I start like the weight loss journey and my schooling I just have to reach those goals. I CAN DO IT!!! I have goals in mind that I want to achieve like being slimmer for my 30th class reunion, my Hawaii trip and just be healthy. I know I can do it not sure if I am self sabotaging it's highly possible though. I lose some weight and then say no I can't be thin and I eat and gain the weight back. What is wrong with me? I need to change my way of thinking saying Yes I can lose weight and be that thin gal. It's okay for me to be healthy and happy. I CAN DO IT!! Well I have to start the prep on Tuesday morning going to be my cleanse day and that is a good start to lose weight I suppose. Get to drink all clear liquids pretty much fast all day. It's going to be interesting at school hope no accidents happen. YIKES! I think that is worse than having the surgery making sure you are cleansed out. It has to happen it's better for one in the long run any way. It's going to be a piece of cake no worries! I CAN DO IT!!! LOL Well my kids are doing well with school proud of them. They like their teachers and they have a lot of friends too. I of all people know how important friends are. Love all my friends so very much!! I sent off about twelve cards to most of my friends over the weekend. I love to write. I do have the surgery on my mind big time can't seem to stop thinking about it. I know I'll be okay, but still it's major surgery who wouldn't be nervous? I do like the way the hospital takes care of me and I like how they do their surgeries. They take you in the room get weighed, change in a gown, take vitals, start an IV, talk to the doctors and then hubby comes in...love that part. Then the pastor comes in and prays for me and the doctors. Then they give the happy juice and I am off to the surgery room. I am usually out by the time I am on the other table so that is a good thing. Then I am awake in recovery coughing and wiggling my toes and I am done with surgery. Still nerve racking though, but I'll be taken care of I pray for all the medical stay taking care of me. Can't wait to be done with the surgery. Oh I didn't say anything about what is going on with my schooling. I have a quiz tomorrow and homework is due as well, pretty much all done, but still have to make a collage of my future goals and dreams. We have to share with the class. I am not even close to being down, but going to do a fast collage because I have to have mine down a day early since of surgery. It will be fine just work on it all day Tuesday. It will come out great. Well that is all for tonight more later~ net