Day 15

November 2, 2012 I had a good visit with my second opinion surgeon yesterday. He was very informative and positive. It just came out of my mouth and I asked him if I were going to survive this breast cancer. He said yes you sure will. He was so upbeat and so positive I really liked that and so did my husband Mark. He wants me to have an MRI on Monday then we'll schedule the surgery soon. I think it will be in the next couple of weeks or in a week. We'll soon see. I did tear up with the doctor a few times. I think about my children a lot and it makes me tear up because I want them to be okay and not worry too much about mommy. I am also bummed out because I went through full-body radiation years ago that it's a shame I have to go through this again and it's worse this time. I have to have the chemo as well, plus the radiation. It totally sucks! Yes cancer Sucks!! I have a button that says that too. Should wear it. I have to think of ways I can help others because of this happening to me. Maybe it will come to me in a dream. I have some really good dreams and they really seem to be pretty accurate at times...well should I say they help me get prepared for what is to come. I dreamt if a beam of light shined on me it would burn me. I then had the radiation back in 1996. It all flooded back to me while up having full-body radiation. When I was pregnant with my second child I had a dream that I had breast cancer and yes it was in my right breast. So my dreams possibly come true or something like that. They prepare me for what is to come I suppose. I wish I seen the lottery numbers darn it. Would like to win the big money. Maybe my dreams are telling me to take care of myself. I keep dreaming lately that I am back in high school with all my classmates. I keep saying yeah but I am really 47 and I feel like I need to be back in high school my senior year. I guess I would have done it all over differently. If only I know then what I know now type of thing. I didn't like my dream saying I had cancer in my liver though..that would suck big time!! I think my brain is trying to process all of this and my dreams are just messing with me. Dreams are weird and all. Well I think it's time for bed it's 12 midnight. I'll write more real soon. Thanks for reading my blog. Hope you are doing well and thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts.