coping skills

Hi, Yeah well I am up late tonight my boy and I had a sleep over. That is what he likes to call it when we stay up late together. He finally fell asleep. I am just getting done with putting my video diary on Facebook. Yeah it was a sad one tonight, but like Mark says need to get the ones of me not feeling all that great up too. People want to see all sides of this journey not just the stuff that is happening like doctor's appointments and stuff like that people want to see the real me. I do plan to video tape myself during chemo too so those might not be very appealing either to watch, but I have to get my story out there just maybe I can help other woman going through the same thing. I know I'll have my own experience of chemo just like they'll have theirs everyone is different. My husband said let's not think of chemo right now, but it's hard for me not to think about it. It's in the back of my mind. Sure I am thinking about the Holidays and all the fun stuff that goes with it, but oh boy that chemo is in the back of my mind no doubt about that. How can it not be there with group talking about how everything taste like cardboard and how people get the chemo brain it makes me scared once again. I think I have decided not to go to the group for a while. I will though go to one on one counseling at the time. I have two lovely ladies that will help me with that and I will take them up on their time for me. I really need to talk to someone about all this and they will be there for me. Oh one of the ladies said there are two fleece blankets for the kids to have. Yeah I told them how much we all love the handmade blanket that was given to us from the American cancer society well they decided to get the kids blankets too. Isn't that so sweet. I tell you people are being so kind to my family during this time. It warms my heart. One thing though I wish I had is a maid to help with the house work. I did the best I could today, but it was a real chore to do the house work today. I felt so lazy and could barely move to vacuum. It was really tough to clean the house today. I told my husband how lazy I am. He just laughed and said well dear you just had surgery give yourself a break. True True, but I can't believe how hard it is for me. Geez. well I can only do what I can do. And that is take more naps!! I like that idea a lot better than cleaning house any day. I did just that today also I dropped the kids off at school and came home and got into bed and slept until my mom woke me up with a phone call. I am glad she called I was about to get up any way so that was nice she called me. I am calling her a lot these days. Just to keep her up to date on everything and to be close to her. I think she likes it too. We used to write on Facebook together, but now I just pick up the phone and call. It's better that way really. People should do it more often these days. I also get phone calls from my girlfriends a lot too. Rosa, Liz, Nellie and Barbara text me and call me so that is nice. It's great to have friends that care so much for me. I LOVE THEM SO!! Thank you my friends. I am feeling better now that I am writing things down it helps to do journaling. It's a good coping skill. I have a dog too that is helping me through some hard times. Her name is Bailey and she is a border collie very good dog so loving and a good dog. She listens very well. I love her so much. I didn't do much with her today I did take her with me to town today and she liked it. She loves to come with me to town with me to pick up the kids, to the store any where she'll come with me. I love her company. So she is a good coping skill as well. I have three cats as well so they help too they are funny to watch play. Well I wonder if I should get to bed now it's getting later and later and I need my rest. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you have a great day!! More later~