Proud to be Connor and Brenna's Mommy!

Hello, Wow today was such a great day! Mark and I got new cell phones which is awesome. LOVE IT!! I feel like I am in with the times now with my new phone. It's funny how we can get so excited about a phone. It takes beautiful pictures too just loved taking them of the kids today at the pumpkin patch. Oh honey this isn't your run of the mill type pumpkin patch this was the big city kind of one. A 20 acre corn maze, pony rides, zip line, tractor rides, hay rides, train rides and so much more. I have to tell you the most priceless moment for me was when we were in the corn maze and the family was looking at the maze map and I thought this is a pretty awesome family outing. It was so great to feel so good with my family. I just loved that moment, of course when the kids picked out their pumpkins that was pretty fun, and all the rides they went on that was pretty special as well. Brenna sure did like the tractor bike a lot she went on it about six times. Connor got to play laser tag he loved it of course a ten year old boy would. He did want to ride the bucking bronco, but hopefully next time we go out there. Brenna wanted to do the zip line as well, but we thought she might be a little too young for that, but she might like it, you never know. That is a next time kind of thing as well. It was such a great day the weather was so beautiful and cool such a great day had by all. When we got home another priceless moment is when Brenna and I made a book about our adventure today. She called it "Me and My Mommy." It brings tears to my eyes so special. She wrote in it and I wrote in it as well. I wrote about the corn maze and they hay ride she wrote about the pony ride and the tractor rides. She did all the art work in the book, because one thing for sure I can't draw worth beans. LOL It was special moment with my daughter writing that book I truly loved every minute of it. Brenna and I have been doing a lot together these days. We sing our made up songs together and read at bed time. I love my kid's company it means the world to me. Connor and I have time together as well. He liked it when I hang out with him while he reads his books at bed time. When he isn't reading he is telling me all about his time machine he is going to built one day. My little scientist. You know that movie Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs? Well the mother on that show bought his boy a lab coat. Well I did the same thing for my little guy because one day he will be a scientist I just know it. So proud of my kids they are such wonderful children. I feel very blessed and so proud to be their mommy. More later~

Grateful

Hello, How is everyone doing these days? I am doing well after surgery thank goodness that is over with. It wasn't so bad, but four surgeries in one year is too many. Just happy they are behind me now. I have to knock on wood because don't want any more surgeries until next year when getting reconstructive surgeries for new breast. Yeah I think I am going to go for it get new boobs. My daughter keeps asking me if they are going to grow back. Well they could actually if I go through with the surgeries. I really have missed my breast these last few weeks. I haven't worn my fake boobs for a little while due to the hysterectomy. Maybe I'll wear them tomorrow just to make me feel better about myself. I notice a difference when I don't wear them. My confidence isn't that great and I feel just not like myself when I don't have them on. Well I actually have been in menopause since February the chemo put me through that real fast, but now with the hysterectomy I feel even more well just blah some days. I feel like I have an empty pit in my stomach. Maybe I am grieving the loss of my uterus and ovaries. It could be I have had them all my life. I feel like I am in a little bit of a slump. Well I am not going to college now I decided to let that go until I am fully healed and also to let Mark finish his college. I think one of us going is enough for now. I have to say I am very proud of Mark for working full-time and going to school full-time not sure how he is doing it. He is sacrificing a lot with his family right now. He misses out on a lot of stuff he does come up for air once in a while and that is when we get to talk to him. He is a trooper though just working so hard and doing an excellent job both at school and at work. They love him at his job. He feels proud to be working for the State and I am so so proud of my man. Keep up the good work honey bun. You know I don't think he reads my blogs, but that is okay he has other things to do for now. I do have to say that I am looking forward to Thanksgiving I am very thankful to be alive and well so looking forward to making the Turkey and all the fixings. I just wish I had someone to come visit me, hint hint friends, mom. hmmm don't think they read my blog either..LOL I am batting a 100 right now aren't I? The only one bummer part of this Thanksgiving is mark only gets the Thursday off and has to work Friday...boo. Well at least he gets the weekend off so we can put up our tree. Yep it's a tradition to do that on Thanksgiving weekend. I love it so much I think the kids really get a kick out of it too. They get to see all their neat ornaments over the years we have gotten them. They are so fun to see again every year. Yeah you can say I am ready for the holidays. I have a lot to be so thankful this year. Did you know on October 17, 2013 will be a year knowing I had cancer? Yep it's just about a whole year and I went through some crazy bad ass stuff. It's amazing I still have my wits about me and not depressed. I am so grateful for that too. Because I know depression all too well it's not fun being mentally ill. Yeah I will say it I have an illness of the mind called major depression and I am so very grateful that during the whole process of the cancer I didn't let it effect my brain. The chemo had a field day with that, but I didn't let it rob me of anger. Wow it blows me away that I didn't become depressed it's serious folks some how I held my head high and came out a winner. Thank you God. I am still fighting like a girl and I am going to beat this. Now to beat the weight issue I tell you that is one battle that is a hard road to go down. I know I can do it because I have lost weight, but I tell you I am having struggles with it. I know I can do it but just staying committed that is key. You know wish I had some money I would hire a personal trainer and my own personal chef that would be a dream come true. Well I think I'll go dream about my weight loss success story and write more later~ net