Hi All,
Well we went to California and we are back in Idaho now. It was a whirl wind of a trip let me tell you. Shoot just Monday we were in San Francisco at the Fisherman's Wharf. Amazing! I had a real good time with family and friends as well. Went to a Halloween party Saturday night sang my little heart out on Karaoke fun stuff. I dressed up all in Pink loved my wig it looks better than my own hair actually. Sad but true. From all the radiation from years ago. It was so good to see my friends Liz, Rosa, John, Lore, Ron, Kelly and Todd. It was some good times. Just wish we could live down there again. I hope my husband gets the job in Sacramento Please Please!!! I want to be back in California again so much so I can be close to my family and friends. Sigh~ The only way to get back there is if Mark gets a job. It's hurry up and wait that is for sure. Mark is suppose to know today. Well it was a good interview Mark said that is the main reason why we went to California this time for the interview. It worked out good because I got to see family and friends this trip as well haven't seen them since I was diagnosed with the breast cancer. So it was a good trip especially seeing my mom. She feels really bad about me getting cancer she says it isn't fair at all. It's not but it's not fair for anyone to get it or any type of cancer for that matter. Cancer Sucks!! I am going to buy a shirt that says that. Well it's almost time to get the children from school. They are holding up pretty well. They did very well on the trip too considering we went a long ways in the car. I am very proud of my kids. We expect a lot out of them so need to be good to the kids. My sweeties I love them soooooooo much!!! Connor told me last night that he misses California already. That is cute he does have a good time there. He wants to go back to his place where he was born. I told him that is the plan. So all in all had a good time in California just waiting for the word about the job. Sure hope my husband calls me soon. Well anyway I'll write more soon! Thanks for reading my blog. Net~
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Some Good News!!
October 23,2012
I saw the surgeon yesterday. It was a good visit more informed about how serious this breast cancer is. It freaks me out pretty much. My doctor thinks it's best that I have the partial removal of the breast. I think I agree with him too. He was saying something about that the breast tissue would not get blood supply if I possibly had the mastectomy because my breast are so large. Yeah I am a 46 DDD. I am pretty big. He also wants me to see the oncology doctors Thursday before we figure this out because since I had full-body radiation years ago he thinks I might not be able to have radiation again and if that is the case then we would do the mastectomy. It has been about 15 years since the radiation so maybe I can have it now?! I don't know right now. This totally blows it ruins a lot of my plans right now. I am still going to do them though, but this is a detour I didn't want to take. My goal is to finish my degree in two years get my bachelor's degree in Health care Administration. Also lose weight those are two of my biggest goals. I have to say my husband and many people around me very positive. My husband Mark believes we are going to get through this just fine so does my mother Jeanne. Now all I have to do is believe it too. Which I do, but sometimes my mind goes there and I know it shouldn't do that. The great news is the doctor believes it is in stage 1 so that is great news I caught it in time. I am a little nervous about having surgery, but they'll take good care of me. We didn't make the surgery schedule yet because have to talk to the oncologist first, but soon after that we'll make the appointment then. I will have to close now going for my massage. Yep taking care of myself. More Later~
I saw the surgeon yesterday. It was a good visit more informed about how serious this breast cancer is. It freaks me out pretty much. My doctor thinks it's best that I have the partial removal of the breast. I think I agree with him too. He was saying something about that the breast tissue would not get blood supply if I possibly had the mastectomy because my breast are so large. Yeah I am a 46 DDD. I am pretty big. He also wants me to see the oncology doctors Thursday before we figure this out because since I had full-body radiation years ago he thinks I might not be able to have radiation again and if that is the case then we would do the mastectomy. It has been about 15 years since the radiation so maybe I can have it now?! I don't know right now. This totally blows it ruins a lot of my plans right now. I am still going to do them though, but this is a detour I didn't want to take. My goal is to finish my degree in two years get my bachelor's degree in Health care Administration. Also lose weight those are two of my biggest goals. I have to say my husband and many people around me very positive. My husband Mark believes we are going to get through this just fine so does my mother Jeanne. Now all I have to do is believe it too. Which I do, but sometimes my mind goes there and I know it shouldn't do that. The great news is the doctor believes it is in stage 1 so that is great news I caught it in time. I am a little nervous about having surgery, but they'll take good care of me. We didn't make the surgery schedule yet because have to talk to the oncologist first, but soon after that we'll make the appointment then. I will have to close now going for my massage. Yep taking care of myself. More Later~
Monday, October 22, 2012
See Surgeon Today
Hello, Today is the day I see the surgeon. My husband is coming with me and he has lots of questions too. A good friend told me to take someone with you to all your appointments. We have so much going on and so much to process we'll forget a lot of what the doctor says. I have been hearing a lot of the woman just take off the breast, but not sure I want to be so radical if don't have to be. Of course it would be a lot more of this heavy feeling gone if I did that. You see I am a 46 DDD yeah I am a big woman. It would be nice to go down to a C cup. I have to see what stage this cancer is at before I make any decisions. I will do what is necessary to save my life.
Well got the kids off to school today was a little late and disturbed the class by telling the teacher sorry for being late. She wanted me to be quiet. Way to go and then I embarrass my son to no end. I feel bad about that the most. I think he'll forgive me though. Geez I tell you I am batting a 100 these days. Did I tell you on the day of my biopsy I lost my wallet? Yeah left it either on the gas pump or the car and no one turned it in. I am hoping they mail it back to me, but of course I will have replaced most everything. You know this month is my brother's birthday I pretty much knew I had cancer that day actually the doctor laid it on me straight I just asked what he really thought. He told me. Well I haven't even bought my brother his birthday gift yet. I want to get him a gift card for Walmart. He does like lottery tickets too...maybe I'll buy those for him in California shoot we are going this weekend. That is an idea not all hope is lost for his gift. Yep we are going to Cali soon looking forward to it. I plan to see all my friends and family for the first time hearing I have breast cancer. It will be an emotional one I think. Especially seeing my mom she is taking it hard, but is thinking very positive about all this. We plan to go to a costume party on the Saturday night it will be a lot of fun. I am going as the pink woman promoting cancer awareness. I have a pink wig, gloves, My breast cancer survivor shirt, pink pants and socks, pink boa, big nail polish it's going to be a hoot of a night looking forward to it. My mom is going all purple she will look cute. I told her to be a rock and roll star. It should be a good time. I am glad I get to go to it. Have some fun! I am always finding ways to have fun with friends and family I think they like that I am a fun person. I like to think that I am. I like to have a fun personality and good attitude in life. I try to let my kids know that attitude makes all the difference. If you are a grump what is that going to get you nothing. So put your head high and a smile on your face and face the world.
Well my dear readers going to lay down for a bit before the doctor's appointment. More later~
Check out my video diary at HTTP://youtu.be?6sqqG5K20dk Thanks for watching. net~
Well got the kids off to school today was a little late and disturbed the class by telling the teacher sorry for being late. She wanted me to be quiet. Way to go and then I embarrass my son to no end. I feel bad about that the most. I think he'll forgive me though. Geez I tell you I am batting a 100 these days. Did I tell you on the day of my biopsy I lost my wallet? Yeah left it either on the gas pump or the car and no one turned it in. I am hoping they mail it back to me, but of course I will have replaced most everything. You know this month is my brother's birthday I pretty much knew I had cancer that day actually the doctor laid it on me straight I just asked what he really thought. He told me. Well I haven't even bought my brother his birthday gift yet. I want to get him a gift card for Walmart. He does like lottery tickets too...maybe I'll buy those for him in California shoot we are going this weekend. That is an idea not all hope is lost for his gift. Yep we are going to Cali soon looking forward to it. I plan to see all my friends and family for the first time hearing I have breast cancer. It will be an emotional one I think. Especially seeing my mom she is taking it hard, but is thinking very positive about all this. We plan to go to a costume party on the Saturday night it will be a lot of fun. I am going as the pink woman promoting cancer awareness. I have a pink wig, gloves, My breast cancer survivor shirt, pink pants and socks, pink boa, big nail polish it's going to be a hoot of a night looking forward to it. My mom is going all purple she will look cute. I told her to be a rock and roll star. It should be a good time. I am glad I get to go to it. Have some fun! I am always finding ways to have fun with friends and family I think they like that I am a fun person. I like to think that I am. I like to have a fun personality and good attitude in life. I try to let my kids know that attitude makes all the difference. If you are a grump what is that going to get you nothing. So put your head high and a smile on your face and face the world.
Well my dear readers going to lay down for a bit before the doctor's appointment. More later~
Check out my video diary at HTTP://youtu.be?6sqqG5K20dk Thanks for watching. net~
Sunday, October 21, 2012
A Nice Day!
Hello,
I had a good day today with my family loving husband, son and daughter. We went to the Boise Mall. Mark bought himself a handsome new suit for his second interview coming up in California. Yeah we might move back to be closer to family and friends especially during this time. We'll see if Mark gets the job. I am praying I really want to be by my family and friends right now. Even if I didn't have the cancer I still would want to be back in California miss it. Always a California girl. We also went to the book store and I found three books. Jesus Calling, Heaven Changes Everything and What to Eat if You Have Cancer. My kids also found some books as well. It was a good day, sure I thought about he cancer and the up coming months, but today was just a nice day. I even dyed my hair so hopefully I can look a little better on my video diaries. I watch them back and think geez I could have put some lipstick on. I'll get better at them and make myself look good for them. I have to set an good example for the all the ladies out there in the world going through cancer. While at the book store I was sitting next to a lady and Mark kept bringing me books about cancer this and cancer that. I told the lady that I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and she went on about some cream for wrinkles not sure her point, but I didn't like her face expression when I told her my husband thinks they will take it out and I'll be done with it. She cringed like that wasn't going to happen. Whoa! negative energy from her. She thinks I should just cut them off because we don't really need them anyway. Wow that seems so radical to me. I am thinking about it right now what to do, but I have to talk with my doctors first.
Well Mark wants to think about taking me to Cancer Centers of America he wants me to think every option that is out there. You know years ago while writing in my journal I wrote that number down and thought if I ever get cancer I think I want to go there. Well it's happening and I am going to do my research of the place. I think when I am done writing this entry I am going to call them. I think I might have to know what stage of cancer I am in though and that I don't know yet. I will know when I have the surgery. God I pray that I am not in stage 4. I really think I found it early. I found it on Monday evening, went to the doctors on Tuesday, had the mammogram and ultrasound on Thursday and biopsy on the next Monday. Wednesday October 17, 2012 I found out it was cancer. Now it's time for the surgeon and oncologist to let me know more.
Well my daughter wants to go to the store so will close for now. Thank you for reading and I'll have the video diary up this even. More Later~
I had a good day today with my family loving husband, son and daughter. We went to the Boise Mall. Mark bought himself a handsome new suit for his second interview coming up in California. Yeah we might move back to be closer to family and friends especially during this time. We'll see if Mark gets the job. I am praying I really want to be by my family and friends right now. Even if I didn't have the cancer I still would want to be back in California miss it. Always a California girl. We also went to the book store and I found three books. Jesus Calling, Heaven Changes Everything and What to Eat if You Have Cancer. My kids also found some books as well. It was a good day, sure I thought about he cancer and the up coming months, but today was just a nice day. I even dyed my hair so hopefully I can look a little better on my video diaries. I watch them back and think geez I could have put some lipstick on. I'll get better at them and make myself look good for them. I have to set an good example for the all the ladies out there in the world going through cancer. While at the book store I was sitting next to a lady and Mark kept bringing me books about cancer this and cancer that. I told the lady that I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week and she went on about some cream for wrinkles not sure her point, but I didn't like her face expression when I told her my husband thinks they will take it out and I'll be done with it. She cringed like that wasn't going to happen. Whoa! negative energy from her. She thinks I should just cut them off because we don't really need them anyway. Wow that seems so radical to me. I am thinking about it right now what to do, but I have to talk with my doctors first.
Well Mark wants to think about taking me to Cancer Centers of America he wants me to think every option that is out there. You know years ago while writing in my journal I wrote that number down and thought if I ever get cancer I think I want to go there. Well it's happening and I am going to do my research of the place. I think when I am done writing this entry I am going to call them. I think I might have to know what stage of cancer I am in though and that I don't know yet. I will know when I have the surgery. God I pray that I am not in stage 4. I really think I found it early. I found it on Monday evening, went to the doctors on Tuesday, had the mammogram and ultrasound on Thursday and biopsy on the next Monday. Wednesday October 17, 2012 I found out it was cancer. Now it's time for the surgeon and oncologist to let me know more.
Well my daughter wants to go to the store so will close for now. Thank you for reading and I'll have the video diary up this even. More Later~
Better day!!
October, 21, 2012
Hello, I feel like my old self again. I got plenty of rest last night and feel much better today. My family and I our going to the book store for a few books. A friend told me about "God Calling" and "Jesus Calling" and I want to get "Heaven Changes Everything" also going to buy some books for the kids too. It's going to be a fun day. I will be doing my video diary this evening and tell you how my day has gone. Well we are getting ready to go to town so more later~
Hello, I feel like my old self again. I got plenty of rest last night and feel much better today. My family and I our going to the book store for a few books. A friend told me about "God Calling" and "Jesus Calling" and I want to get "Heaven Changes Everything" also going to buy some books for the kids too. It's going to be a fun day. I will be doing my video diary this evening and tell you how my day has gone. Well we are getting ready to go to town so more later~
Con't
My link to my video diary is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcXWZi7achc&feature=channel&list=UL
I plan to video tape every day if I can to tell how I am feeling. Okay I might skip a day we'll see. Well it's 1 am and I am still up. need to get some sleep REST!! I think the cancer feeds off the lack of sleep. So I better get to bed now. More later~
My link to my video diary is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcXWZi7achc&feature=channel&list=UL
I plan to video tape every day if I can to tell how I am feeling. Okay I might skip a day we'll see. Well it's 1 am and I am still up. need to get some sleep REST!! I think the cancer feeds off the lack of sleep. So I better get to bed now. More later~
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Day 4 of Breast Cancer
October 20, 2012,
This is day four of knowing I have breast cancer. I was diagnosed on October 17, 2012. I had my daughter have a play date with her friend Lacey today. I was talking to Lacey's mom Kristal and told her I had breast cancer and she said you seem so calm, but she doesn't know I am screaming on the inside. Yes it was a hard day today I was thinking the worst case scenario. I know shouldn't be thinking like that, but it just came to mind. I did do a lot of driving today so my thoughts were all over the place. We went to the old house today got another load of stuff and brought it to the new house. While I was in town I got to see a couple of friends they both cried when they saw me. It brought tears to my eyes. It was an emotional day today. It doesn't help that I am tired. I stayed up until 3 am last night talking to my good friend Jessica. We were co-workers together at one of my favorite jobs in Folsom Ca. Jessica has heard it all from depressions to disliking my husband at times. Now she is getting an ear full with me going through this Breast Cancer. Thank you Jessica!!
My husband Mark and I were talking tonight and Mark believes that they will take it (lumpectomy) out and everything will be fine. I love his positive thinking also my friend Liz thinks the same thing and among other friends and family are thinking wonderful positive thoughts. I thank you all for your prayers and postitive energy during this time.
I want to tell you the day I found out about the cancer. I got on the phone and told every family member I could reach and all my friends. I didn't have time to cry or really let it sink in. To tell you the truth I knew it was cancer just had a feeling. Of course the radiologist gave it to me straight that day of the ultrasound and mammogram and he did say it can or can't be, but he was leaning more that it was. So I knew deep down inside it was. Even though the day I was told I kept saying benign, benign please come back benign. Throwing that poistive energy out into the Universe. So anyway that same night when I found out I went to bed and started saying my prayers and when I started praying for my kids I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't finish my prayer for my children. All I thought was I want to see my kids grow-up. I was crying pretty good too, but Mark never even woke up. So I did have a good cry just hoping, praying that I get to see my kids grown and hopefully see some grandkids would be a sweet gift.
I started a video diary as well about this process of having breast cancer so hopefully I can help other woman going through the same thing. It's on YouTube
This is day four of knowing I have breast cancer. I was diagnosed on October 17, 2012. I had my daughter have a play date with her friend Lacey today. I was talking to Lacey's mom Kristal and told her I had breast cancer and she said you seem so calm, but she doesn't know I am screaming on the inside. Yes it was a hard day today I was thinking the worst case scenario. I know shouldn't be thinking like that, but it just came to mind. I did do a lot of driving today so my thoughts were all over the place. We went to the old house today got another load of stuff and brought it to the new house. While I was in town I got to see a couple of friends they both cried when they saw me. It brought tears to my eyes. It was an emotional day today. It doesn't help that I am tired. I stayed up until 3 am last night talking to my good friend Jessica. We were co-workers together at one of my favorite jobs in Folsom Ca. Jessica has heard it all from depressions to disliking my husband at times. Now she is getting an ear full with me going through this Breast Cancer. Thank you Jessica!!
My husband Mark and I were talking tonight and Mark believes that they will take it (lumpectomy) out and everything will be fine. I love his positive thinking also my friend Liz thinks the same thing and among other friends and family are thinking wonderful positive thoughts. I thank you all for your prayers and postitive energy during this time.
I want to tell you the day I found out about the cancer. I got on the phone and told every family member I could reach and all my friends. I didn't have time to cry or really let it sink in. To tell you the truth I knew it was cancer just had a feeling. Of course the radiologist gave it to me straight that day of the ultrasound and mammogram and he did say it can or can't be, but he was leaning more that it was. So I knew deep down inside it was. Even though the day I was told I kept saying benign, benign please come back benign. Throwing that poistive energy out into the Universe. So anyway that same night when I found out I went to bed and started saying my prayers and when I started praying for my kids I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't finish my prayer for my children. All I thought was I want to see my kids grow-up. I was crying pretty good too, but Mark never even woke up. So I did have a good cry just hoping, praying that I get to see my kids grown and hopefully see some grandkids would be a sweet gift.
I started a video diary as well about this process of having breast cancer so hopefully I can help other woman going through the same thing. It's on YouTube
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