Friends!!

Hello! Well it's a week since my last treatment feel a little rough around the edges, but on my way of feeling some what normal again. It sure did help to have Rosa here she was such a huge help. She cooked, cleaned, loved the dog and all of us so much. We were spoiled by her. She was for sure great company. I think even Bailey our loveable pooch misses Rosa. Rosa gave her so much attention it was so funny how Bailey loved it so much. Spoiled bigtime. Well we started off the week visiting my great-uncle John for lunch at Pizza Hut. It was a nice visit he is a good hearted guy. The kids had fun too. Then brought Rosa home she started right in and helped me cook and clean. Then we had a great time on my birthday I had a massage sweet!! Rosa stayed home cleaned my house up. I know we got dressed up and put on make-up and went out for a free birthday breakfast it was yummy. We went to Denny's. Then came home and bought a few things at the store. Rosa made me a mexican dinner and an ice cream cake. The kids had to go to the Climb program so Rosa and I watched a movie together. Then the celebration began when the kids got home. It was a lot of fun making the ice cream cake. We got video of it all. The next day we went to the cancer center and Rosa was with me and Mark too. It went by kind of fast because we were visiting a lot so that is good it went by kind of fast. Like I said in my last post Shelley brought me flowers that was sweet. Had some great support during the transfusion though so grateful for that. Well we came home and made some dinner it was yummy. I was still okay to do things so that was good. Then on Thursday Rosa and I got to go to a mall and go to Ross we bought some clothes nice blouses and rosa even found a nice dress too. It was fun then we made our way to downtown and we walked around that area she saw the Capitol building took some pictures of it too. We had lunch together it was a nice time. Rosa did all the driving so that was great didn't have to worry about that. We made it back home and Rosa probably did some more cleaning and cooking what a great friend she is. On Friday morning Rosa told the kids she would take them to school so we did that and Rosa met the kids' teachers which was so nice. I believe after we got home we watched another movie The Lady in Red. It was cute with Gene Wilder. I started to feel the effects of the chemo then so just a little tired and weird feeling. It didn't stop me we still watched movies had popcorn and just visited. Rosa made some dinner for us all that was yummy. She even made her famous salsa it was the bomb. LOL Saturday the worst day for me Rosa took the kids to the YMCA they all had a good time. She wore the kids out too they had a great time with Rosa. They love her so much. They came back and I just relaxed on the couch we then watched Avatar that is such a good movie. Rosa and Mark loved it I slept through it mostly until my favorite part came up when the gal saves him and says, "I see you." I love that part the most. Sunday I actually felt good enough to go see the movie with the kids and Rosa we went and seen Wreak it, Ralph it was a cute movie. After though I was really tired and just rested on the couch. Monday Rosa went to the airport I stayed home because I had a migraine so my eyes were seeing things a little weird I slept the whole day. Rosa made it home fine and she is now back to work. It was so great having her here I can't express it enough. She did keep saying it went by too fast, but at least we had her here with us and it was so fun. Can't wait to go back home and see her and all my family and friends it will be such a great celebration. Well I have one more chemo left to go. Looking forward to ringing the bell at the cancer center. I am going to ring it loud and hard too. I will be so excited to have chemo behind me. Yahoo is right!! Well it's been a great week considering having chemo, but had a great friend with me and it sure was great to have her love and support. I feel blessed!! It's great to have all the support I've been getting from family and friends so I feel very loved. I'll write more later~ net

2 am post

Hello again! Hey all I am up at 2 am can't sleep due to going to the bathroom a lot. That is what chemo does to the body. Also the steriods keep one awake as well. Yeah yesterday was chemo day. So it's going to be a few days of a little hell, but this too shall pass right?! I don't feel to bad at this minute, but it's coming soon. I did have a good day yesterday inspite of chemo. I got some beautiful flowers from a gal named Shelley. I got to be introducded by her yesterday we have been talking on the phone for some time now and she came to see me yesterday. She is such a lovely lady. She had ovarian cancer last year and is doing very well now. So happy for her. I also had of course my dear friend Rosa with me yesterday. My hubby Mark and my nurse navigator Nanette with me too. Oh and of course the sweet nurses Sarah and Vicki. So it was a great day actually. I sure do love the support! Well one more chemo after this and I am done! Whoot Whoot!! Going to be a great day!! I am going to have my kids there when I ring the bell I decided. Because my son asked me today if I get to ring the bell yesterday and I said no not until next time. So yeah I am going to take them out of school so they can see mama is done with chemo next month. It will be a good day for the whole family. Acutally they won't miss any school because they get out at 2 pm and I don't leave there until about 2:30 pm so it's all good. Maybe I'll even let the kids ring it with me. They will get a kick out of that. I can't tell you enough how much my friend is spoiling me so much my dear friend Rosa. She is cleaning my house, cooking dinner for me well I cooked dinner last night felt pretty good to do it. I made a new recipe had to try it out. Rosa gave me a massage last night felt so good getting that chemo to circulate some. I have to drink tons of water too at least for 48 hours after chemo that is what the doctor said to me last treatment. So going to do what he says so I can not have such hella of a time this go around. We'll see if that works. I got a pamplet about the YMCA has a group that excercise while in treatment and who has breast cancer. I called them yesterday and thinking about going to it. It would be so good for me to do that right now. There is free child care too. The kids would love to go and do things as well. I think when I am done with chemo I am going to be a member of the YMCA the kids can swim, do actitives and have tons of fun after school. Well in the meantime I'll go to it now and have some more support. Speaking of the kids they sure do like the CLIMB program they come home and tell me their time there, it's so great. I hope they are learning a lot so proud of them. The bummer part is Brenna is having some separation anxiety right now from mommy and daddy. She doesn't like to see us go bye bye. It breaks my little heart. I don't like to see her like that at all. I hope she gets to be okay with things soon. Connor seems to be doing pretty well with us leaving, but I am sure it bothers him when Brenna cries big crocadile tears. This is been going on now more so that I have been in treatment too and losing my hair poor sweetie she is worried about mommy and even daddy too. She loves us so much and us her. We love our kids so much!! We don't like to see them in pain at all. I hope once chemo is over with she'll feel much better. Only one more month to go. Whew! Well I had a good counseling session with Lesa yesterday she talked about Future tripping she likes to call it that. We all get into the thinking about the future and we need to get in the present. So she gave me some tools to reel myself back into the present. Now some of the future thinking I do is the thought of dying or the bad thoughts that come with having cancer such as going to have those surgeries soon. I do think of good future stuff like my going home and seeing all my friends and family can't wait for that day. Or the high school reunion coming up next year. Those are good future tripping because they keep me motivated on the positive. My dear hubby even had a cousneling session with Lesa and I am so happy they spent a long time together in group too. I am dying to know what types of things were said, but he didn't come out and say too much about his session except about the pamplet he gave me about the YMCA. So that is good. He'll open up to me about it I am sure. I got him another session again for next chemo day too. He just rolls his eyes at me, but he'll do it. I think he enjoyed talking to Lesa so that is a good thing. Mark needs support as well and who else to be giving it to him then her. Well the bills keep rolling in, but Mark said that is just the way it goes right now we have to deal with it. I have to make some calls this morning about all the co-pays we paid last year for taxes. I am gong to be busy with that tomorrow got my work cut out for me. I won't be any good if I don't get back to sleep though. So I best try and sleep again. I'll write more later~ net

Birthday!!

Hello, Yes my friend Rosa made it here on Monday so happy to have her here!! When I picked her up we went to see my uncle John in Boise he is doing well he is my great-uncle the brother of my grams. We went out to lunch to Pizza Hut the kids love pizza and Rosa and I love the salad bar. We had a nice time visiting. Then we came home and we were going to go bowling, but there were leagues going on so no bowling for us. So we had a nice dinner then just watched the Biggest Loser. On Tuesday had a great Birthday with my family and Rosa. The first thing on the list was a lovely massage felt so great. She even charge me a birthday rate that was so sweet of Tammy. So that was a great start for a birthday celebration. Then Rosa cleaned my house which was so great loved it! You all know how I hate cleaning house..LOL Rosa and I went to Denny's for my free breakfast it was nice company with Rosa. We then went to Costco for some chicken got to love costco! We then had to get all the fixings for the famous ice cream cake. I made my own buttercream frosting so it was even better Yum Yum!! Oh I went to the post office and mailed yes 15 letters to all my friends..hey I love to write so have to send snail mail. Then we went to pick up my sweeties from school. They were so excited to be home. Well then daddy took them to the CLIMB and Rosa and I had time to watch a movie Fire in the Sky. Rosa never seen it before so it was a good one for her to see. We had popcorn too. Then we went on a walk around my block yeah had to take my dog Bailey as well. Rosa made me some enchiladas they were excellent so yummy. When the kids came home we made the ice cream cake it was a lot of fun. I have video on Youtube and Facebook so it's pretty funny Brenna's look on her face is priceless. The cake was so good I am going to make one for Brenna's birthday she loved the idea. So I had Rosa and I make a video together and I put that up on Youtube and Facebook as well. It was a cool thing though when Google wished me a happy birthday that was totally cool. I was so shocked they did that and was in tears because of that...totally neat!! Mark says because I have an account with them so they put up your birthday wish. I just loved it so much!! I had a great birthday so I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family and friend in Rosa. Also I had so many birthday wishes on Facebook just loved them so much. I wanted to reply to each and everyone of them too. I think it's a nice touch because I am so grateful for all the support I am getting. People are being so great to me and to my family. Well today is chemo day not looking forward to it, but just one more done after this treatment. So that is great news!! I will have a lot of support today from Rosa, hubby, Lesa, Shelley and my nurse navigator Nanette too. Shelley is a lady that is helping me get through this she went through ovarian cancer last year and is doing very well. She is coming to introduce herself today. I talk to her on the phone, but haven't met her yet. So that will be nice. I can use all the support I can get these days. Well I am not sure if I'll write more while in chemo mode, but I'll try to let you know how I am feeling. It's a little rough road being in chemo brain don't feel like doing to much. Rosa is going to get me to go on more walks this week, but we'll see how I feel though. I have to push myself to some extent especially walking would be so great. I am so glad to have this help here this time with Rosa it makes me feel so loved. She is a great friend!! Well I think I'll get ready for my chemo now. I'll write more later~ net Thank you to all my supporters. LOVE LOVE LOVES to all!!!

My Kids

Hello! Well I was miss informed the Astroid already passed us on the 15th silly me. I guess we are safe for now. Well today is the day I pick up my friend Rosa from the airport so excited to see her. This will be the first time someone from California has come to see me. Totally cool! We will have a great time together at least for a couple of days, then the chemo will kick in and kick my butt. That is okay I got this though going to fight all the way until it's over two more treatments that is all. I am going to tease the doctor on Wednesday and say let's just call it good doc and quit now. I might get a laugh out of him I hope. It would be better if he said yeah let's us be done now. What a great wish that would be. Well I am excited that it's my birthday love my birthday it's fun to celebrate it especially now. My husband was sweet and said what am I going to get you for your birthday. I told him the massage is enough he said that was for Valentine's day I said no you can combine them. He doesn't like that too well. Hey it saves us money too. Well I get to see my great-uncle John today he lives in Boise. It will be nice to visit him he is a very kind man. He is my gram's brother. He is so kind and thoughtful he said he wants to help me when he needs help himself. We can help each other that is what we'll do. Well my ankle to bothering me for some reason don't think I did anything to it, it must be old age..LOL It will make it hard to walk with Rosa she loves to walk. I'll get by some how. Well have I told you how much I love my children? Connor is growing up to be such a fine young man so loving and kind very sweet boy. My daughter is funny and has a roar like a little Leo the lion. Got to love little girls. I'm so proud of them they are going to the CLIMB program and really enjoying it a lot. The other day my son asked the counselor "do we have to talk about our feelings." I thought that was so cute. I tell them all the time they can talk about their feelings to the counselor, but Connor says somethings are private mom. I respect his feelings. They had a tour of the radiation room and Connor was full of questions for the doctor. They all know he is going to be a scientist. Brenna on the other hand is a little bit shy so she'll speak up a little later. I am so grateful for the program it is such a blessing. The kids are also excited about Rosa coming too. They ask when she will be here. They love friends like mommy does. I over heard Brenna talking the other day and she told Connor that she liked her school here. I think that is great so I think we should stay put for a while, sure moving back to California would be ideal for me to be close to family and friends, but we have to do what is best for the kids right now. I don't want to up root them now. They need their friends at a time like this. My kids go to an all boy class and an all girl class. I think it's working out very well too. They seem to like it a lot. My son wants me to talk about cancer in his class. I am thinking about doing it with the help of my friend/counselor Lesa. I'll talk to her about it this Wednesday. I really want to do this for my boy so he will get a better understanding of cancer. He likes my bald head a lot. I asked them if they wanted me to wear a wig to get Rosa at first Connor said yes, then said no mom don't wear anything, but little Brenna said mom bring a wig in case. I want to make them happy so I'll do both. Well Mark seems to be doing a little better he has had some good times this weekend we are talking more in the morning hours about how things are going with him. He will be talking to Lesa soon too. I hope that goes well for him. I told him to be straight forward and talk about his feelings. He just rolled his eyes at me. Men! you can't beat their feelings out of them or can you? Mark is so logical it's a little bizarre he needs to shed those layers down and get to some deep seeded issues. I know he has them deep down because he has a lot of anger that comes from some where it could be that he didn't have his father around while he was growing up. His brother dying very young and Mark had to carry that burden around all his life. They weren't really allowed to talk about it the mom was quiet about the cancer. Mark will work it out I am sure and it will be good for him to talk. Well it's 6 am I should get back to bed need some rest have a big day today. More later~ net

My Friend Rosa

Hello! Oh man have I been so tired the last few days. I really have been knocked down on my butt and it has been the third week of chemo. I thought I would start feeling good, but no just a round of kick annette's butt week. I slept for the most part for two days. I guess I really needed the sleep so I went with it. Saturday I felt a little better, but wasn't ready to run any races. It's Sunday right now about 4 am in the morning. I woke up because my daughter was coughing. Oh boy a sick child that isn't what I need right now. I don't want any infections when having chemo. I did have a dream where I had to take a bunch anti-biotics...yikes hope that dream doesn't come true. I also had another dream that every time I touched the ground it would burn me and everyone else around me. I just wonder about that astroid that is coming close to the earth. Yeah I am freaked out about it. Have you heard about it an astroid is coming very close to Earth hope it passes us by. With all these meteors coming lately it just makes me wonder. It seems like I am worried a lot these days about things. I know should read the serenity prayer. There are some things I just can't control right?! I have been having lots of thoughts about dying young these last week. I even called the hotline to talk it out. I guess it goes with having cancer I suppose especially getting cancer at a young age..hey I am still young..lol even though 50 is knocking on the door. Can't believe I'll be 50 in wow 3 years. That blows, me away! I hate those bad thoughts I am suppose to be thinking about Hawaii when I get those kind of thoughts going through my mind. I also have been really worried about my kids too. I just hope they stay healthy and happy. Having kids sure makes one worry it does me anyway. There is a lot of joy in having children too. I think I'll stick to the joy part. It's easier on the ole' brain. Well I'll be celebrating my birthday on Tuesday that is if the Earth is still in one piece on Monday. Yeah my friend Rosa plans to make me a nice dinner and make an ice cream cake. Yeah I know I told this all before it is just so sweet of her. Monday Rosa will be here can't wait to see her. You just don't realize how neat it is to have a friend here when you are going through chemo it means the world to me. Friends do something for you when in times like this they lift your spirits and spoil you. I am going to love having my friend here so much. The kids are excited for her to come as well. They keep asking when she'll be here. I hope today I feel good enough to clean the house and get ready for her. I know Rosa she won't care if the house is dirty, but still we want it to look nice for her. I am going to have a massage for my birthday that will be lovely can't wait for that. Rosa and I plan to go to the movies or go bowling that night should be fun. I would love to take the kids, but they have school the next day so it looks like it's just Rosa and I for that night. Then Wednesday is chemo day. I am thinking to have Rosa come into my counseling session with me. I'll see what Lesa will say or if Rosa wants to even do that. Mark is going to see Lesa as well that day. I hope he opens up to her and talks about what is bothering him. He needs a support team as well. I hope he reaches out and doesn't fight it. He had a little bit of a hard time yesterday, but he kind of pulled it in and had a better day. He just wants the peace and quiet to study. It's hard for him he is working full-time and going to college man he has a lot on his plate right now. I go and to top it off didn't finish the laundry for him. I did all his clothes, but man it was a chore for me I hated doing it too for some reason. It seems like the easiest chores are so hard for me lately. If I could I would have someone else do the cleaning for me. Yep I am not afraid to say that let them have it I'm done with housework. I don't mind doing the dishes making sure my kitchen is clean, but man when I am in chemo brain oh man I can't do a thing. I tried to find a cleaning service for my area, but they are booked up so no one can come clean my house. They do it for free too. A few people said they would, but I feel weird asking them to clean my house. I was proud of myself the other day I did the vacuuming, dishes, mopping and dusting last week of course I felt a lot better than this weekend. I am getting the kids to help out too. Making sure they stay on top of their rooms. I don't want them filthy like sometimes they get. There is no reason why they can't stay clean. Connor wants to make an allowance so if he keeps his room clean then that would be great. I think he would love having an allowance that gives him some pride in his work. Now to speaking about how much of funds he will get have to talk to daddy on that one. I think what I'll do today is make a chore chart with the kids and if they keep their rooms clean every week then they'll get an allowance. I know I should have been doing this a long time ago, but every time I do a chart it just goes out the window for some reason. I don't keep up with it, but I am going to this time. It's going to be one of my goals to better ourselves in 2013. My good friend Jessica gave me an idea too. She told me she was doing things for herself in 2013 like put on make-up and earrings every day. Even if you are home just put on some make-up to feel better about one self. I don't do that shoot I don't even put make-up on when I go to the store. Shoot I have new wigs and a bunch of new make-up I need to do that for myself. So that is going to be a goal of mine too. It will lift me up so much and maybe I should wear a wig more often too. Mark bought me a wig cap so now the wig might feel some what better for me. The only thing is Connor kind of likes me being bald he says he likes me to show off my bald head. I guess he is getting used to it now. Now for Brenna she likes me to cover my bald head she tells me to put the hat back on even when it's hot outside. Yeah not a fan of the bald head. I am going to make a point to show Brenna that I am putting on make-up every day so she knows that taking care of yourself is important and doing things for you is a good thing. I think I'll even get her involved in helping me put on my make-up. She'll love that so much. She gets a kick out of make-up so that is good she is all girl. My little man is all boy. Oh I got a great birthday gift from my friend Jessica. You see I asked her a few years ago to do an astrological reading of my children so I could understand them a lot more. Well it was in the mail I finally got them. It's exciting to read about your child astrology. I can maybe better understand them. I know some people don't believe in it, but I was raised on this by my grams so it's interesting to me. My grams did a reading for me and it was dead on too. I loved it wish I still had the tape of that reading. It was so right about me it made me cry not sure why I cried, but I did. It was very touchy I think that is why I cried it really hit a nerve in my soul. I look forward to reading the charts soon to know just a little bit how my children tick. fun stuff. Well it's getting earlier in the morning it's about 6 am now time for me to go back to bed. I am still wide awake though knowing me I can find other things to write about, but I'll close for now. More later~ net

Our Cat Tasha

Hi! On Sunday morning about 3 am I woke up and stayed up and talked to my husband. He woke up at 5 am yeah even on a Sunday. So we talked about lots of things about him feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. He knows he has had a hard time lately so I asked him to talk with my counselor and he says he will. He kind of rolled his eyes about it though. So next Wednesday he'll talk to my counselor so that is good. I hope it helps him feel better to talk to someone besides me. He can get someone else's prespective on things and she can give him some coping tools. He said tonight he was going to go nuts. He might already be there. If it's not the kids it's the animals he said. Our cat Tasha isn't doing well she is very old she was born way back in 1993 so she has lived a long life, but mark is very sad right now. So that is another stresser for him too. It's so sad to see Tasha like she is right now it's like you can't really do much of anything really. We give her loves and tell her we love her. She is still eating and drinking water but she is weak. I sure do feel for my husband these days poor guy. A lot is going on with our family right now. Well Mark did have an interview the other day with a great company in Boise. I sure hope he gets the job it would sure boost his ego and he would be making what he is worth. Not to mention good benefits as well. I keep praying he gets the job. We'll soon see how it goes for him. I hope they call soon. Well I felt good today a little tired but felt a little normal. I didn't feel like doing any house work though, but who does. I'll get with it tomorrow I am sure we have an inspection with our landlords...no fun really, but at least our house is clean and looks nice. I just have to do some spot cleaning and we are good to go. Well I think this is going to be a short entry because it's 1 am and I need to get to sleep. I'll write more later~ net

Husband

Hello! Wow another weekend and my husband is still feeling stressed out. I wish he had a place where he could go and talk to someone. He doesn't have anyone he can talk to about what is going on. Well there is resources out there, but knowing him he will keep it all in and then what take it out on us during the weekend? That is what is going on it seems he is just a bear lately. He is doing a lot of complaining about not being able to do his homework. When I am feeling good he shouldn't have a problem with it right? Well today he was doing everything else except his homework. I am taking the kids to church tomorrow so he can concentrate on his studies. I hope when we get home he isn't so upset and pissed off. It's starting to wear on me. Makes me feel kind of bad especially when I am in the chemo mode everything is 10 times worse when you feel lousy. Hearing him feel like he is going to lose it makes me feel really bad. I am going to have him talk to my counselor this coming up next chemo treatment. I think it might help him a lot. He really needs a support system himself. It's tough for all of us right now. Well some good news we got our old place rented out so that will have some weight off the shoulders also the renter's dad is going to be checking the heaters and water for us so Mark doesn't have to go up every weekend. I hope that works out for him a lot better. Poor mark is just overwhelmed right now. I think about if the tables were turn I would be feeling so bad for him right now. I don't think I would tell him I was going to lose it though, but I guess I have when I was in a bad depression so yeah I did tell him I have lost it..LOL Maybe Mark is calling out for help or something. I wish I could help him more. I've been so bad I've been keeping some of my medical bills away from him so he won't get more stressed out. I need to be open and honest with him about that. It's just that there are so many of them coming in it's mind bloggling even for me. Things should be okay just have to call all the bills and get them straighten out. I can only pay what I can pay and that is all I can do right now. Well as for me I am feeling much better these days. I cleaned the house today which felt great the whole family got into it. Oh the bad thing that happen to me the other day I was feeling a little anxiety about dying young. Yeah I kept thinking I am going to die young. I guess that goes with the territory once you are diagnosed with cancer. I also am smack dab in the middle of chemo and that feels like one is stuck in the treatment. I want to get out of this and on to the other side of the tunnel. Like see some light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard at this time to see any light yet. I will though one sweet day just have to take one day at a time right now. I was also very tearful the last few days not sure where that is coming from I figured because I just wasn't feeling good. We went to the CLIMB program last week and as soon as I walked in to the room I started to cry. I wasn't feeling very good, but went for my children. They had a good time they made picture frames for me they are lovely. We had a great meal together and the parents got to talk about some issues that are bothering us and how we hope that the Climb program will help our children. I hope the kids get out of the program how to talk about their feelings and hope they understand it's okay to be angry, but how to deal with that anger. I think the program is going to be so good for the kids they will get a lot out of it I am sure. Mark and I will get to have some date nights. Mark is a poo head though because everytime I say date night all he sees is dollar signs. Well he better be seeing some dollar signs and take me out once in a while. It kind of bothers me that all he sees is dollar signs shoot aren't I worth it to be taken out on a date? Geez back in Folsom we had so many discussions about date night. I still don't think he understands that I want to go out on a date once in a while. Well now he has no choice in the matter every week we get to be together if he likes it or not. We can go to a Starbucks and have some coffee once in a while. Have a nice dinner too. We'll see something we can do together without paying too much. Well I guess I'll stop bashing on my husband now. He is a good guy don't get me wrong just has some issues that are going on with him and he'll figure them out I'll help him. He has been bringing up his little brother who had died as a young child from brain cancer. That might be haunting him. He was pretty much not told anything about his brother while he was sick. Mark mentioned today he wished they would have had the CLIMB program for himself as a young boy. I think a lot of feelings are coming up for mark now. I hope he finds a way to talk about them. Okay well it's time for bed. I'll write more later~ net

Feeling better!

Hello! Well I thought I would do all this different things after having the second round of chemo but my chemo brain, body wouldn't let me. I didn't even video tape it just takes so much out of you it's hard to do anything really. Well the good news I am feeling some what better today. I took a nice long nap this morning after droppping the kids off at the bus stop. Yeah we weren't late today. Well the kids got to go to their first CLIMB program on Tuesday. They loved it too. They made me a beautiful picture frame with pictures of the kids and I. It was a nice evening we had a yummy dinner pizza, pasta and salad so very good. I am looking forward to their next visit, but this time mommy and daddy can have a date night. Mark sees dollar signs when I say date night though. I told him shoot we can go to the Starbucks and just have coffee together. He can play on his IPad and study if he wants to. I can sit back and write in my journal. We'll make it fun for us too. Okay well chemo wasn't fun this time around of course not. I got confused and tired just blah for sure. One thing that happen to Mark was he was having some issues as well. He is trying to get his bachelor's degree and what was bothering him was that he couldn't study very well over the weekend. He was venting it too. I don't need that when I am in chemo mode it hurts my head more. Things are ten times worse when you have the chemo brain going on. I asked him if he was in the anger stage of cancer and he said yeah it could be. He was a bear too let me tell you. I am glad that we talked about it and he is feeling much better about it now. I told him when the next round we can make a plan so it won't be so hard on him. Rosa will be here for the next treatment and maybe I can get her to take the kids to the YMCA so they can play and have fun. I can sleep and Mark can do homework. That is a great plan isn't it? Mark just had a bad moment that is all poor guy. This isn't easy for any of us. We all have been affected by chemo treatments. This too shall pass though. Just two more treatments left. I am so glad about that. Can't wait for the ringing of the bell. Yeah going to ring the bell in the cancer care center as hard as I can my last day. I am hoping to have the kids there when I do if we can swing it. I think they will be just as thrilled to ring the bell with me. Something that is fun for me is I am on the committee for our 30th class reunion for next year. We had a vitural meeting last night with my classmates it was fun to talk to them. I am in charge of calling where we are going to have the event. It will be good for me to be part of the committee something for me to do while feeling good. My classmates teased me and said I am the President of the committee. I just told them I will bring the wine the next meeting. LOL So that will be a fun little thing to get off the ground. Shoot next year 30 years that is crazy. Sure hope to lose some weight by then. I was told not to go on a diet when in treatment your body is already going through some drastic changes don't need to throw in a diet on top of it. So when chemo is over that is the time to think of getting heathier-THIN) I am watching the Biggest Loser and just get so inspired by that show. I am pulling for all the contestants it's fun to watch their transformations. One day I hope to be along side them changing myself as well. Okay well I am thinking about doing a video diary entry today. I can show off all my wigs too. It will be fun. I'll write more later~ net