Regrets

Hello! This is going to be random topic today. You know I read something on Facebook that really caught my attention. It was the nurse that revealed the top five regrets people make on their death beds. It really got me thinking about it and I even wrote it in my journal. Let me go over them again so you know what I am talking about. Number 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 2. I wish I didn't work so hard. 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 5. I wish I had let myself be happier. I really enjoyed reading this article and it really has stayed with me. You see I am really good at number four and I am proud to say I have kept my friends for many years and I love them deeply. So I don't think I'll regret that on my death bed. Hopefully many many years from now. ;-) I do feel I am happier these days now that I am cancer free and after going through what I did this last year oh boy things look so different to me now. I don't sweat the small stuff any more and keep a smile on my face even when times are tough because if I can get through that damn chemo every day is a good day for me now. The one I probably need to work on the most is sharing my feelings to people that done me wrong. I am one of those people that don't say anything just to keep the peace, but it really bothers me later. Well from now on I plan to open up and if someone wrongs me I plan to speak my mind. For an example there is someone that needs to know how I feel now and I won't say any names, but she will know who she is. To this person you have hurt me in so many ways just by your hurtful words. You one time said all my boyfriends are weird, but so much I just kept quiet but my comment back to you at least I didn't marry all of mine. Also when I shared with the family that I was having another child you were so cold and didn't even say congratulations you just asked "are you sure you want to have another one." That really hurt me I thought you would have been more excited for me. I just feel that for some reason you target me and are so cruel in your comments towards me. I don't know what I have ever done to you for this type of treatment. There is one thing I didn't understand when I had one of my surgeries you told me on the phone that I didn't have to call and let you now how I was. That was just so strange to me. Also what broke the camels back is when at the fundraiser for me you were so unfair in how you handled things and the comment that kicked me when I was down really hurt me. You said and I quote you "now that you have no boobs you look pregnant." Why are you so cruel and so blunt with your words. Are you unhappy with your life? Because you make others around you miserable with your mean words and your actions. You say people shouldn't smoke when you shouldn't drink so much. You need to see those three fingers pointing back at you. I have decided to not be around people that bring me down and if you ever say a mean word to me again I will let you have it next time. I won't hold back any more because I don't deserve what you dish out. I am so happy I am me even what I have dealt with in my life. I am happy that I am a nice person and glad that I don't say things to bring people down just to make me feel good. I love my life and plan to do better and if that means keeping you at bay so be it. I don't need mean people in my life. Okay now that I said my peace I feel much better even if you don't read this at least I wrote my feelings down. Don't hate LOVE! Thanks for reading my blog for the ones that do it means so much to me the support I get from my friends. I love my friends deeply and want to have you in my life so much. Thank you for being kind to me.