Getting Healthy!

Hello! Yeah I am up again writing on my blog it's 3 am not sure why I am up, but why not write. A few things have been bothering me lately and one is my weight. It's time to get healthy and lose it. I am excited about it, but the only down fall it takes so long, but if I keep at it I can do this. Shoot I got through chemo I can get through weight loss. Right?! I started weight watchers and I lost a half of pound my first week. The only thing is they have me at 52 points a day. I think that is way too much for me to eat a day. So I am putting it down to say like 30 points a day. I don't want to be eating all day long that is crazy. I am doing a lot of walking now so that is a huge plus for me. I wake up every morning at 5:30 am and do my morning walk. My dog Bailey loves it! I do this before the kids get up and that is time for myself. I am drinking plenty of water feels great just have to pee a lot down side of drinking lots of water, but man my kidneys are loving it. Another thing that is bothering me is thinking about dying or something bad happening to my family. Yeah I guess this goes with the territory of being diagnosed with cancer. This too shall pass and I can get on with life. Sigh~ Well I was excited to go on a Hawaii trip with my friend Rosa next year, but Mark rained on my parade on that one. He said geez you just get back on a vacation and want to leave again. Well heck buddy I need to start thinking of my bucket list you know. So right now going to concentrate on losing the weight and going to my 30th class reunion next August. I did say to Mark if we end up staying in Idaho I want to go to California twice a year. He said there goes the money. That isn't true. Shoot he pulls me away from all my core friends and expects me to just not go visit them? Give me a break. I have to see my mother too. I don't think that is too much to ask for if you ask me. Especially that I don't have any family or friends here in Idaho. Okay I am making friends, but they aren't like my BFF Rosa, Liz, Kelly, Nellie, Steve, John, Chris, Michael, Nap, Susan and many more friends that I love. I miss them they are so much fun to be around. I'll make the most out of it here in Idaho, but let me go back and visit my friends at least. Who knows maybe we'll move back Mark applied for a job in Sacramento the other day. Yeah the job opened up and who knows just maybe they will hire him. I would be tinkled pink, but then I think about the high cost of living there in California. I just don't know what to do I miss my friends terribly, but are we better off in Idaho?? I guess we'll go where the good paying jobs are, but hate living in limbo right now. Want to make up our minds and get to our place of living. I want the house I can call home. It will happen things take time. God's time. Right now we are doing what we are suppose to be doing. You know when talking to Mark the other night. I think he might resent me for staying at home with the kids just a bit. Because he mentioned well we only have one income. Not true I do bring in some money from disability so that is something I am giving the family. Mark wants me to go back to school which I would love to if I knew where we were going to stay for sure. You know I just wish we can move back to California and be done with it. Yeah sure family comes first, but so does friends especially if they make you happy. Another thing is bothering me, but I am going to keep that one to myself it's a family member and not going to give them any kind of satisfaction. All I can say about that is God knows the truth. That makes me happy when I just think about God knowing the truth. Okay now I said my peace about it now I can let it go. My counselor said I need to talk about it with friends and my husband and I have so all is going well with that. There was a picture of me taken the other day with the kids. I put it on my fridge so I can be reminded on how I look right now. It's going to be my before picture. Well it's going to take me about a year to lose all this 109 lbs. Yeah that much to lose. Because I gained that 40 pounds before the cancer. It might have something to do with it too. So now to get on track and get it taken care of. My scale says I lost 6 lbs. love it, but weight watchers scale says a 1/2 of pound..hmmm don't like that much. This will be a good week to weight in I am going to lose 2 lbs!! I sure hope so. Well on that note I think I'll get back to sleep. It's about 4 am now have to get up and walk in the morning. I'll write more later. net