The blues

Hi, Oh wow do I feel the blues today. I had to make myself go to my daughter's Christmas party this afternoon. It was really hard to go to it. I did though and then my daughter has a meltdown it wasn't pretty at all. I just thought to myself okay this too shall pass. It took a while for it to pass, but she finally calmed down. You see she wanted to ride the bus with her friend. I told her she could, but then she didn't run to the bus it was a mess. She got so worked up about it that she said it was my fault she almost passed out. I told her to calm down it wasn't fun at all. It really upset me and to top it off I am not feeling that great. Sigh~ well I am now in my pjs and just relaxing. I had to get on my blog to write this down. I called my counselor Lesa about how I am feeling about my support group. They are wonderful people, but I think it's bringing up anxiety issues with me. You see a lot of them have had chemo and I haven't so they were saying yesterday how everything taste like cardboard. They read an obituary about a group member. I didn't know him, but it made me sad. My counselor said today it's expected of me to be going through grief right now with the cancer. She told me to get my beautiful bag of coping skills and pick and choose them when need them. One of them is journaling and blogging. I hope it's a good coping skill. I am thinking of video blogging about how I feel today. Mark said people want to see how I am in between what is going on with me. I really need to show people all sides of my journey. Well I feel better talking about the party today and the group. It might be good for me for now to just do one on one counseling at this time. Well I think I am going to close for now and take a shower. Okay more later~