Post Surgery

Hi! Well to tell you the truth haven't much felt like writing. I have been so tired and feeling like I got hit by a truck. It's been a tough week just sleeping a lot and still doing things with my kids. They don't keep mama down for very long that is for sure. The first day I wanted to drive went to the grocery store and boy did that take a lot out of me. I just came home and went down on the couch. It really did a number to me. So my days have been laying on the couch mostly because of being so tired and also having a lot of medicine in my system. I have pretty much stopped taking the pain pills just cut them in half now. So that is a good thing. I did get up to drive the kids to school and they loved it. I saw Connor's teacher and she was so happy to see me up and a bout. What a nice lady she is very concerned about me. It's nice to have that support right now. Well any way I kept doing things and feeling tired. Then my daughter became ill. The flu bug so took her to the doctors and they did a strep test on her and that was a chore. Brenna had to be held down to get it done. That hurt my right side a lot. It came back negative. She just had the flu. Then Connor needed a hair cut and we took off to Wal-mart for that. He was being stubborn and hurt my right side for that again. Well it turned out well in the end his hair looks good I can see his face. As soon as that day was winding down I just laid on the couch again. I spent a lot of time on the couch. It was so bad that I didn't even do my Facebook. It was as if I didn't care about it. Gasp! Yeah when you don't feel good you tend not to care too much about anything. Well the less important stuff. Yesterday was a little better day I wanted to go on a walk. So picked myself up for a short walk around the block and it felt good. I even did my dishes it did perk up my energy level. That night I even made dinner. The kids had pancakes and eggs and mark had a salad and I had pasta and vegies. Yeah I guess you can call me a short order cook last night. Just glad everyone ate that is the good thing. Today I am feeling a little better going to get ready to vacuum the floor and clean the house a bit. Want to get ready for Christmas. Oh I saw my surgeon on Thursday of last week and every thing looked good on my incisions. He said he is going to do a port in my chest so when I have chemo it will be there for the nurses to put the chemo in me. I have to admit I cried the other day because I just don't want to have chemo it scares me to have that and I don't want to be ill. I am reasurred that they have better nausea medicine now so I shouldn't become sick that way. I will be tired though. My hair will fall out and a few other side effects will happen. I just had a bad day thinking about having the chemo and I just cried and cried. My nurse navigator thought it would be good to talk to her friend that went through chemo for ovarian cancer. Well she was wrong because it was horrible to hear about her experience. I didn't want to hear about all her illness and crap. It really bothered me and I told her I had to go didn't want to hear about her experience because I am going to have my own not hers. I don't plan to talk to that woman again in the near future either because I just wasn't in a good frame of mind to deal with that then. Gosh I wish I didn't have to hear what she went through it didn't do me any favors. Just made my nerves more uneasy. So glad that day was over with. Well I began to think about when they are going to do my chemo so I called my nurse and she said before Christmas. I was bummed out. I told her I want it done after Christmas. Someone told me that it would be done after Christmas. I want to go with that. I just don't want to be doing that before Christmas at all. I will be not with it for our celebration. Also it's a hard time for my mom to come out for Christmas time. Well it might not be that hard for her if she takes the Greyhound bus. We'll see if she can make it I know she wants to be here for when I have my first treatment. Sigh~ Well that is what is going on in a nut shell. My next treatment is chemo then radiation. So not looking forward to either of them. Well I think I'll close for now and do my video diary. More Later~~