3:40 am post

Hi All, Well I am up at 3:40 am now probably from the effects of the chemo I had yesterday. Yep I did it and I didn't cry like I thought I would. I was being strong and feeling pretty good. I am proud of myself. I actually felt fine afterwards as well. My husband and I went to Costco afterwards and we walked around the store for awhile and I didn't feel bad at all. I had to wait for my prescriptions so we went and looked around it was fun love Costco. The neat surprise I got a call from one of my former co-workers Marty. You see I called her the other day at work in Redding Ca. And she called me back. She is good people she read a poem at my wedding and boy did I cry when she read it too. So her and I go way back. Just love her. She had gastric bypass surgery 12 years ago and is a size 10..Lucky girl. Gosh one day I would love to be that size have to work on it. I don't want the by pass surgery so going to work on myself after the treatments. So that was a fun call from her. So as for the chemo it went pretty well I got some great news the doctor talked to Mark and I and he said I only needed four treatments of chemo instead of six. I was so happy he made my day bigtime! Well one is down and three more to go now. I can do this so excited now for that. The nurses were very helpful to me during the process yesterday. The only thing is I couldn't video tape in the infusion room since there were other people there so you know the hippa law so understood. So I'll try to get a video up and running soon. So first what they did was do a blood draw to see how my white count is doing, it was high because of the steroids so that is okay they said. So I went back to the infusion room and they started off with some nausea medicine. I got a lot of it too. A whole bag full, then after that was finished then the chemo drugs started. I had the first one and it took an hour for that one and all was okay didn't feel anything at all. I made a lot of phone calls during the process and that was good to talk to my friends and my mom. Mark had to go get tires on my car snow tires that is. He was worried about me driving in the snow without them. So that was understood. So he was back for the second treatment of the chemo and that is the one I had to watch my blood pressure on. It went very well my blood pressure was just right and I loved it. It was like 115/70 so that was really good. They took it a couple of times so that was great. So after the last treatment that took another hour she flushed out my port and I was sent home that was it. Now the waiting game to see if I get real tired and a little ill. They said like the third day is when I will feel a little icky so we'll see. Oh my nurse naviagtor came in about 1:30 pm and sat with Mark and I. She is a great support system so kind and caring. She brought me a little gift a journal I loved it. So we talked for a while too. Oh yeah and I talked with my counselor Lesa in the morning before treatment it went very well too. She wanted me to think about Hawaii because I've been there years ago. She said when those bad thougths come in think about my favorite time in Hawaii. And she told me to deep breathe four times deep. She gave me some good pointers, tools to work with when those bad feelings come in or some anxeity happens. I felt as if I was back in Hawaii too. One of my favorite times in Hawaii was when Mark, Connor (9 months) and I woke up about 5 am and got up and open the sliding glass door it was so warm outside it was so wonderful that breeze of the warm air. So we got all dressed and walked down to the beach and took pictures at 6 am it was so fantasic. That is the most favorite time for me with my family. I just totally loved it. Mark did too and little Connor got a kick out of the sand on his toes. Another time in Hawaii was a fun time we went to this park near the beach and I was lying down and I was looking up at the palm trees and I took many pictures of them. Mark went snorkling for a bit came back with some seashells. I went out too, but I was more afraid of a shark so I got a few seashells and came back to relax. What a great day together. Yeah it feels like I am right back there enjoying my wonderful vacation. I want to go back one day and take Brenna I think her and Connor would appreciate it so much. That is one of our goals to go back. My first goal is to go on that cruise with my girl friends here soon. After treatment going to go on a Baja cruise together. It would be such a blast! I am rounding up some friends Liz, Rosa, Nellie and Kelly so we'll see if we all can do it together. What a special time that would be for us. I would get a kick out of it so much being with my peeps. LOVE IT!! I like this thinking about the future to some degree instead of that feeling of being stuck just about cancer. I want to think beyond treatments and surgeries. Be well and live a good life with my loving family. It feels good to be thinking ahead a bit. I know think in the present that is a given I do very much too, but like to think beyond treatments and I will get through them. I just have to I have more life to live and like I said before I have children to raise, people to see and places to go. I am there!! Like my friend Ron said I got this made now with the three treatments coming up. YAHOO!! Is totally right. So So happy about that. I am going to savory this feeling right now. Well I called my friend John the other day and he is doing some what better with the depression and we had a good talk he didn't just talk about himself so that was an improvment we talked about all types of things and that is great. He said he'll pray for me and I'll pray for him as well. I am glad to have all these people in my life it such a great support system. LOVE IT!! So I can go to my support group tomorrow if I want to thinking it over some, we'll see how I'll feel tomorrow well today. I might give it another chance. I can tell them I went through my first chemo treatment and listen to others talk about their lives. So we'll see how I feel about that. If I don't get any sleep I'll be not so good in the day tomorrow. Maybe I should go back to bed now. Or do my video diary now. Huh yeah maybe I will. Okay well I hope all is having a great day. Talk to you more later~ net