Mom

Hi, I just got off the phone with my mom and felt kind of bad. Now don't get me wrong I am sorry she has been laid up for sometime now with a bum leg, but she made me sad. You see she was suppose to come see me when I had my surgery, but got bronchitis so her and my friend Rosa couldn't make it they were sick...understood. Now her leg is hurting, but what made me sad is she didn't even remember when my treatment is and it's this Wednesday. All she talked about was herself and how she feels and didn't even ask about me and what I was doing. It was all about her. She doesn't even watch my videos or read this blog. That hurts me too, but she did say she would probably cry if she watched my videos understood. Well this blog is about my feelings and how I can cope so I am sad about my mom and how it seems like when something goes on with her it's all about her troubles. I guess I am just wishing she can be here for the first treatment, but she can't it hurts me. She wasn't even there for me when I had my babies, or when I had the gall bladder operation it just hurts not having your mom there when I need her. Now I am going to have the first chemo and she won't be here. It feels like I am doing this all alone again like back in 1996 having the full-body radiation I didn't have any family members there for me during the process. Mom did come with me to San Francisco the last few days of treatment so that was nice. So it wasn't all bad, but 10 weeks fighting alone really was upsetting. I will be grateful though I have my kids, husband, friends and family this time just that they live so far away. It's the pits wish I lived closer. Well that is enough of me ranting. I just felt a little sad with the phone call from mom that is all. Just wish she could be here for me, but maybe once her leg heals she can make the trip. Rosa will be here in February my second treatment so that will be nice having help. I mostly worry about my kids being taken care of if I am not feeling well. I want them to make it to school safe and home safe. If I am not up to par I want them to be cared for also and the help will be much appreciated. Well I will close for now more later~ net